We’re all into Goethe but some of us are looking at the Stars

Richard Ashworth

Feng Shui Diaries

June/July/Aug 2010


Hour  Day     Month           Year 
 Metal       Water Metal metal
Gung Yum yum gung
Sute Yan ng yan
Dog Tiger Horse tiger


Month:                 Yum ng the water Horse
Solar Fortnight:   Ha gee Summer Solstice


Before we get started….news just in ! Richard will be advising on ‘Big Brother’s Little Brother’, Monday 30th August on Channel 4 at 6pm…..tune in to see Richard try & keep up with the chaos.

 We’re all into Goethe but some of us are looking at the Stars

Right now I’m listening to ‘Violet’ by The National. Or is it ‘National’ by the Violet? Young, bearded, plaid shirts, folk roots, you know the thing. Five bob’s worth of Arcade Fire, Bon Iver, Fleet Foxes, if you like. But these guys sound like they’ve lived a little and don’t stop short for a clever key change when they stumble upon a tune. The songs actually remind me of late 60’s Bee Gees. Should I be ashamed even to think this?

Warren’s in love. Which is great. His business is flourishing, he has a new home and at last, a new love. I don’t know whether it was the attention to the South West of his apartment, the deep soul work we have done centring on his ba zi, where and when we placed the water outside his office or something else. I don’t care really. You can attribute these things any way you like as long as you pay my bill on time. It’s all choice. This is the tao.

‘The acid test of intention,’ as Robert D’Aubigny used to say, ‘Is having things go right.’

Love is not safe. We get no guarantees. We can wait forever and remain bereft or it may be that some wiseacre with a big crystal and some mumbo jumbo magics it up for us. Goethe wrote that the commitment is all; boldness he says, has power of its own. When we take a risk we open ourselves to Heaven.

I am watching on television the hereditary multi-millionare George Osborne announce the hard decisions he is making on behalf of everybody but hereditary millionaires, the non-domiciled and beneficiaries of Private Equity Trusts and I notice that as if by clockwork, the house plants have become less thirsty now the Fire Season has ended and the Metal Season begun. This (the organic process not Osborne’s announcement) happens every year and still I marvel. The tomatoes remain shamelessly green though.

It has, in the words of Paul Weller, been a long hot summer. Also which is not always the same thing, it has been a season full of Fire. Some days because of the way the Animals combine, have been close to 100% Fire. This has made for a certain tenseness, diplomatic incidents, spies being sent home, whistle-blowing, that sort of thing. Spree killing too, as I suggested last December. In my Annual Predictions I warned of a w-shaped recession. I never expected it to be legally enforced. As Osborne insists, we have entered a new era of ‘austerity’ policed by the fabulously wealthy. Just what you’d expect from a Metal Tiger.

I rarely make mobile calls but I deal with an awful lot of email and text. As the Chancellor sets out his store, I flick through my i-phone and come across Donna’s despairing email. No need for despair, I suggest, just get the boulder. I had prescribed a boulder in a carefully calculated location in the North West of her garden. Get bold, get the boulder.

It seems I have landed on a planet where certain things happen that I’d sooner didn’t. I know that to give them attention is to encourage them but it’s as if my universe is a naughty child with a handful of food poised to throw. If I keep my head down he might miss. Reality (whatever that means) appears to include violence, mean spirits unrequited love and coalitions and if I am to be awake, I have to know them. We all live in halls of mirrors and currently these are mine. Just what you’d expect from a Metal Tiger.

The Second Taxi

Warren has been waiting a while for true love. One reason for the movement in his life may be that as an engineer, he is very precise. This makes him great to work with; if I say place water at 154˚ South East, he places it at 154˚, not 153 or 155. And if I say 12 noon on Tuesday, it’s 12 noon on Tuesday.  Also his self-contained office is one of the NE-SW set-ups so favoured in the 8 Fate (until 2016 or 2024 depending on your school of thought).

Claudia emails that her son and his wife are on the brink of a split. Can I help? She sends me a Google Earth link. The front garden tapers sharply. And it’s Southish. If there’s any South West at the front, the wife will feel painfully constricted. I tell Claudia to put a line of pot plants or shrubs across the lawn so as to render it rectangular. But she’s off on holiday tomorrow, she says.

«What if I do it in my mind? Or on paper? What about drawing a line across the lawn with a hoe?»

«Any or all of the above will make some sort of difference,» I reply.

We all have choice, why should this not be hers?

I remember Rory and Julia whose beautiful Tudor house I surveyed several years ago. Their garden shares something of this tapering and I hear they have finally split. There were two major flaws in the property of which this was one, neither soluble without major disruption. They did not make the changes and I understand why but I sigh when I hear. What causes what? They’re both adults. They can choose.

Warren’s beloved is very beautiful and very sincere. She was worth waiting for. I talk through her ba zi with her.

‘I never expected to find someone like him,’ she says. ‘I didn’t know such men existed.’

‘With Warren what you see is what you get,’ I say. ‘Inside is just what’s on the label.’

She is a little shocked, having to adjust to this new good fortune: for so long her life has been all about her remarkable children while she has held relationship at arm’s length. These positions become habits. I feel into her pain. There is a good deal of opening to do. We talk. There’s no trick: just put the feeling you want in the place you want it. It’s not gravity, God’s will or a court order, it’s choice. Warren’s been alone too long and he has his own adjusting to do as well. That day I survey Warren’s new home and find constrictions to the South West and arrange for them to be adjusted rapidly. Let’s put the feeling in the place it ought to be.

At a celebrity wedding a year or so ago, a very beautiful woman asked me why she kept wasting her time with bad news men. Observing it was a «Wing» day on the Chinese calendar when frankness is essential, I asked her whether she had ever read any Sherlock Holmes».

‘No. Should I?’ she answered, furrowing her brow.

‘His advice was always to take the second taxi in the queue.’


‘The driver of the first one might know exactly where to be just when Sherlock wanted a lift and have nastiness in mind’

‘How does that apply to me?’

‘The men who approach a woman as beautiful as you, are likely to be confident. They have the lines, the chat, the attitude which they learned through long practice. You may just be the next exercise.’

‘I like shy men.’

‘Actually, I doubt you’ve ever met one.’

Bolder and Boulder

‘I never believed such a man would come into my life,’ repeats Warren’s beloved.

In my mind I see Rory playing his bagpipes to the moon at midnight. It’s a big garden so he shouldn’t get much thrown at him, I imagine. He’s a good man who deserves all good things. 

The boulder…oh yes, the boulder.

Earlier this year I surveyed Donna’s magnificent property in Cumbria which falls pretty much naturally into a perfect feng shui configuration. Over the years however extensions had weakened the back or mountain. One thing I  suggested to her was a statue to the rear in the North West which represents men and Fathers, neither of which have been entirely under control in her life, as well as a substantial boulder  Some months on, she had not managed to find a boulder. Why not ? These things always have meaning. When all recommendations but one have been completed, what’s not been done is likely to be what’s most important.Get bold, get the boulder.

Peeking Daily.

Richard tweets on Twitter each morning (as FengShuiDiaries) with a summary of the day in terms of the Chinese Calendar. Twitter of course is interactive. Don’t risk getting up without it !

Turkey Shoot.

After Osborne has shot himself in both feet, the hereditary multi-millionaire David Cameron comes onto the screen to commend his deputy’s aim. It’s going to be a hard few years, he warns, for all of us who are not hereditary multi-millionaires, non-doms or financed by Private Equity Funds. I bless him. Political parties know only to elect lovable leaders by now. How confusing is that? The new voters, the 1988 Dragons, 1989 Snakes and 1990 Horses who are inherently stroppy, may not be so easygoing, I think. These sharp young minds must be considering how this happened. The ones who voted Liberal may be feeling as if they were actually born under the sign of the Turkey and close to Christmas at that. I see sit-ins and protests in the near future. No supernatural powers required for this.

I hear Donna’s got the boulder and I hear she may cautiously be considering being in love herself.

Love is not safe and we don’t get its benefits if we will not take its risks. As I said, I seem to have landed on a planet where certain things appear to be so that I would sooner were not. This too shall pass. This is the tao.

©Richard Ashworth 2010


email: richardashworth@imperialfengshui.info

Names have been changed to protect..uh…me.

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