Love, honour and e-bay

Solar fortnight beginning:

Tuesday September 7th 2009 20.51

Month:  Quai yuw, the water Rooster

Solar Fortnight: Bak low, White Dew

Love, honour and e-bay.

I’m looking at my Facebook page which is linked to my blog which is linked to my twitter which is linked to my website. This means you could follow me online for hours without actually learning anything new.

Sally’s page tells me she doesn’t believe the local authority is recycling her recycling. She reckons that if they are collecting tins, plastic and paper together in a single bin, they can not be separating it and she has heard rumours of tankers loaded with tidily bundled Home Counties cardboard and washed dog food cans ending up unrecycled in central China. It’s a paranoid time and she uses her long Facebook status updates to reflect this. They are not nearly as much fun as 10-year-old Mark’s; he is a client of Sheila’s whose every day is either FANTASTIC!!!!!!! or BOR-ING! Mine too, Mark.

Laxmi is back from Iceland where I sent her for mud therapy when all else had failed. The eczema which has been rampant since she was three is retreating nicely. There was more to it of course – a survey and six weeks of ba zi – but there she is in the new pictures with fresh soft skin. A fire-metal imbalance since you asked.

I’m looking at Charlie’s converted barn in Oxfordshire. Charlie’s led a charmed life in some ways: he’s 50-something, handsome, fit, single and the possessor of the rump of the fortune he made on the stock market in the 90’s. He’s a very smart man and he’s going out with a beautiful musician who doesn’t need him on tap at all times. I’m reminded of Susan in Desperate Housewives pointing out to her young lover that he has it pretty good: “Hot sex whenever you like and no cuddling.”

He’s a Metal Rabbit. I once did a whole radio phone-in on this Rabbit. The Rabbit is soft and gentle yin wood but the attached yin metal is fierce and acquisitive. Metal attacks wood, so this is a confused beast. Often such a person doesn’t know whether to be in business or the world of woo-woo. When they’re making millions they want to withdraw and when they withdraw they want better hotels.

Yin metal is often music and he’s a big rock’n’roller so we immediately have plenty to talk about. In fact this means I have to concentrate on surveying rather than discussing Paul Simon.

The orientation of the house is fine but what’s interesting about it is that the lay-out of the house suits it so well. There are missing bits at West and North but the Flying Stars absent from these pockets are pretty nasty and this is not one of those houses where missing bits banjax the whole thing. Charlie’s been feeling a bit philosophical of late and I point out that his sons, who are away at boarding school or with their mother most of the time, occupy the best location for an office while he has been working – a tad reluctantly – among some sluggish stars. I suggest a straight swap.  

“How will that affect the boys?”

“Not that much, I expect. Unless they move in.”

Hm…I detect some guilt. Charlie is a brilliant and therefore perhaps complex man but guilt is only permission to repeat offend. I have six children and have been doomed to learn so much the hard way so I may be familiar with the territory. My father used to say of being a parent that the first forty years were the hardest

My daughter Henni is at her new Uni now and her Facebook tells me she has Freshers’ Flu. This appears to mean she hasn’t been sober all week. She is a diligent and independent girl with a fine mind and I don’t worry about her. Not in this regard at least.

Crouching Tiger, Rampant Rabbit.

Charlie is encyclopaedic about 70’s singer-songwriters and he has been studying Tantric Sex. How interesting. I am full of questions. Topic after topic occurs to me: Tom Waits and Pete Atkin, Dory Previn and The Handsome Family. My readership, I guess, may have other concerns but it turns out Charlie is a Graham Nash obsessive. I have never met one before: Crosby, Stills, Young, yes: not Nash.

To get the maximum benefit from the water star (sometimes called the money spot) he needs water outside in the East but he can’t place it till 2010 because the East is tricky until then. Why would this picture of contentment need water? He’s kind of lonely. What do you do for the man who has everything? Identify what’s really missing. This is the tao. This Rabbit is stuck for a direction and where he’s pointing looks unsatisfying. That’s his business but I can open up the options for him.

There are large doors either end of the barn and he asks if the chi doesn’t blow through. Evidently not.

“You have a spiral staircase between them.”

And no, not the sort of spiral staircase that twists the energy; this one is fine. It doesn’t turn back on itself. As I said, he is charmed. But there is a darkness, something like boredom in this man who only works in order to avoid the school fees eating into his capital.

His ba zi suggests that this decade he could make significantly more than last decade. The elements showing are the same but yang (that is bigger) as opposed to the yin of the last decade.

“Looks like you’re up for moving and shaking,” I say to this deeply spiritual man whose attention is on the search for truth. What do I know?

We place items to the missing West and North which represent respectively the youngest daughter and the second son. These are the children he is concerned about. Who’d have thought it? And his ex who’s represented to the South West by a door that is never opened. This by the way ensures that another poor pocket of energy is effortlessly neutralised. Charmed.

My ipod selects Del Amitri’s Driving with the Brakes on as I drive away

Glittering, Korea.

Anita emails me for a second appointment. She’s had tenant trouble and I’ve been helping her free herself of them in, of course, the nicest possible way. Tenant gone, can we start again? She is a fantastically smart Korean banker. Two weeks ago she was in a real pickle, now she’s cool as er… a cucumber. Moving away from condiment metaphors, I compare the 60’s concrete of her big house to a Stalin block and she sees the similarity. Her unwanted guest was of course a reflection of a whole raft of inner conflict reflected in her ba zi. Koreans like the Irish, are often somehow themselves divided across the middle.

Since I surveyed the other week, two huge opportunities have emerged for her: one about fame, the other pure wealth. All in a day’s work, ma’am.

I end the week fetching and carrying around Sheila’s Workshop for young actors. They are brilliant; I stop and watch a little of the videoing as they practise for big auditions. My daughter-in-law Tracey who is a world class teacher of young actors, puts in a cameo appearance. This means I have her two little boys, my grandsons, for the afternoon and we go to the park where I bump into a client.  We discuss the forthcoming Year of the Metal Tiger while I push Levi James Ashworth (three and three quarters) on the swing.

My client tells me casually about a Private Equity fund that is involved in dumping lethal waste in China. I don’t think I’ll be telling Sally.

“I’ve seen the future and it looks like murder,” I say.

“W-shape recession?” he enquires.

“Uh huh. The Metal Tiger is a vicious beast,” I say. “The year the banks get their own back.”

He of course, works for one.


“Repossessions, foreclosures. They want never again to be beholden to government.”

“Is that all bad?”

“We don’t have to buy in,” I say, “All that there is, is either good or a mistake.” This is in fact a quotation from A Course in Miracles.

“You ready to deal in cash?” he asks.

Richard Ashworth © 2009

 Names have been changed to protect..uh…me. My (still) super-duper (still) revamped website is at and The Feng Shui Diaries the book is available now from:

And of course all good bookshops. Do buy it from a bookshop if you can.

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